The year was 2006. The dreams were horrific. The visions scarier than anything else I had ever experienced. The torment of why it was all happening was exhausting. The nightmares would wake my husband up with me screaming and crying and shaking uncontrollably. Even in my awake state the tears flowed like a river. The calming took more than an hour some nights. My husband would try to calm me, but sometimes I would lay there awake after he fell back to sleep and just cry. Burying your own daughter is something no mom would ever even imagine doing, but yet night after night, day after day, these visions were what I was seeing. I would see me standing over her lifeless body in the funeral home wanting so badly to pick her up and shake the life back into her. I would see myself trying to be consoled by friends and family. I would see it all and it was so real. Wild Bill was dead! Why was this happening? How long did I have with her? What could I do to STOP it?
After several months of this happening, I finally went to the Pastor of our church. I couldn’t take it anymore, nor could I stop praying it wouldn’t be true. He tried to answer my questions. Was it a sign? Was this going to happen? What could I do to stop it? What could I do to save my daughter? He tried to calm my fears and doubts, but ultimately he didn’t know. He prayed with me and told me how to pray over my daughter and I left feeling hardly any better. I did what he told me and every night after all were in bed I went to her room and laid hands on her and prayed. The dreams and visions subsided for a while but not for long. They were back and horrible as ever.
This happened for THREE years! They would come and go and not every night. Then in July of 2009, Wild Bill had this weird fever thing. She’d run a fever for a day or so, I’d take her to the doctor then it would just disappear as it came and she would be back to normal. I remember doing this several times. At one point the doctor ordered blood work that came back normal. As she started school in August 2009 we thought the mysterious fever was behind us. Then something else was happening. She was thirsty, so thirsty. All the time! Day, noon, and night this kid drank like a fish. It got worse and worse over the next month or so. What goes in must come out and the trips to the bathroom increased as well. Even her teacher asked one day while I was visiting, why is she going to the bathroom so much? I didn’t have an answer. The final breaking point of her unusual thirst and bathroom breaks happened October 2009.
My husband and I were on a weekend trip to a youth leaders conference in Michigan. We asked my mom to stay with the kids and she much obliged us. We got home late Sunday night and the kids were already in bed. Mom said Wild Bill drank and ate so much they could hardly keep her fed. We figured she was going through a crazy growing spurt and dismissed it and sent her home. That night we woke the kids up to kiss them and let them know we were home. When my husband kissed Wild Bill he said her breath smelled like metal and maybe it was time to take her back to the doctor. I agreed to make an appointment the next day. When she woke up the next morning and came out of her room you could tell something was very wrong. She was SO skinny. I don’t know how I missed it before we left. You could see every vertebrae in her back. Her eyes looked sunk in and almost sad. I knew something wasn’t right.
That day marks the day of a complete lifestyle change for us. At the doctors office, after a routine urine exam, they told me they found sugar in her urine. At the time, I was like ok, what does that mean. She needs an antibiotic? Medicine of some sort? They doctor informed me of the only reason sugar would be present in her urine, Wild Bill has diabetes. I think I cried hysterically for a few minutes or more. I remember my grandmother being diabetic and always poking herself, giving herself shots, not being able to eat certain things. I was not prepared for this. She sent me with a lab slip over to the hospital for a blood draw to see how high her sugar was. She was to call us as soon as she got the results to see where we were to go for further treatment. The next few hours were agonizing. I didn’t know what to do and was so upset. Poor Wild Bill didn’t know what to think. At 7, all she realized was that she was sick and mom was REALLY upset about it. When the doctor called she told us that her sugar was too high for the lab to test and sent us directly to the Riley Hospital For Children emergency room.
Wild Bill was immediately hooked up to I.V.’s and they started pushing fluid and insulin. After their glucose monitor wouldn’t register her sugar, and it went up to 800, I started to realize just how sick my little girl was. They sent her blood to a special lab and the results were astronomical. 1440! Was her sugar! How this little shell of a girl was still able to function and NOT be in a coma is all thanks to God! After 4 days in Riley we were sent home with a ton of knowledge, after all the classes we had to attend, needles, insulin, test strip, and a ton of other supplies. I tried my hardest to be a sponge when it was “class” time. I wanted to be as best prepared as possible to help my baby get to feeling better and gaining weight. She was down to 44 pounds at this point. We went home with confidence that we would BEAT this thing……
A few months after the diagnosis and after countless mental breakdowns on my part, I cried myself to sleep one night thinking of the lifelong disease my baby girl had. I remember being so upset that it was always Wild Bill. She had had broken bones. She had had stitches. She had had this mysterious fever. She had diabetes. She was the source of my horrific dreams and visions. After falling asleep, I remember being wakened by a gentle touch. It was as if someone was cradling me in there arms. I woke up fully but no one was in the room, other than my sleeping husband. I remember hearing an almost audible voice say, “Tiffany, I didn’t take her home. You asked me not to take her, and I didn’t.” It was from the Lord. I was so in awe of everything I laid back down and cried myself back to sleep feeling so relieved. I was looking at the situation as a poor me, poor Wild Bill stand point. God was teaching me, it could have been a lot worse. I could have been burying my daughter. From that day on, I thank God for her diabetes. I thank God he saved my little girl. I thank God that for this situation, as bad as it seems, He will get the glory. I still believe he will one day heal her and it will be a day of joyous celebration. I believe her life was and is and always will be in Gods hands!
This is one of many testimonies we have. This was the biggest life changer for us. If we trusted God for this miracle how many more would he provide for us? God is good and I love him more every day.