Writers Block and a Good Story

I’ve been having a serious writers block lately! You know, the one where you have this HUGE GIGANTIC story to tell, or writing to get done, and then your fingers hit the keyboard and nothing. So disappointing. Time and time again for the past two weeks it’s happened. I’ve tried to switch it up a bit but nothing. You see, I write my posts somewhere between 3:30-7 a.m. The house is quiet. Nothing is stirring. I can sit and pray over the post. I can have my coffee and bible out. I can just be with me. Be with my thoughts and prayers and ideas of what I want to accomplish with a said post. But lately I sit, and sit, and sit some more and nothing comes. It’s frustrating! So frustrating!

So, here I sit on yet another morning, same as the last it feels, and it’s 3:30a.m. I have my coffee, which is smooth and delicious by the way, and my bible open to Psalm 50:15. This is what I want to say:

I struggle. Everyday I struggle. I struggle with self confidence. I struggle with past pain. I struggle with not being good enough. I struggle with addiction. I surrender everyday to God. I have to. I once thought, ” i surrendered it, why isn’t it going away?” You have to sometimes surrender it daily, for a week, maybe a month, and sometimes even years, before you see the fruit of that prayer! I have been there. I have struggled with abuse from my past going on 20+ years. I pray it away but it still affects some aspects of my life. It’s hard to overcome. It’s a mountain in my life. One I know I can’t and won’t overcome on my own. Jesus said he gave us the power to cast mountains into the sea and sometimes I have to do that every single day. Sometimes it’s all I can do to pray “God strengthen me for this day, to do your will, to be your hands and feet, and to somehow in the end GLORIFY you.”

I have had seasons in my life that were a train wreck. Finances amiss, relationships on the rocks, stillness from God no matter how much I seek his face and pray. I’ve also come to learn over the years of walking with Jesus that as much as He tries to shield us from all the bad sometimes it gets in. And other times we invite it in without even knowing. But I do know also, that there are a few things I can do to bring comfort to me. One is pray. Praying not only for myself but for others. Really lifting others up. It’s one way that brings me peace in a situation. It takes the focus off of “poor me” and puts it on God and others. Another way is digging in to scripture and learning from it. God didn’t put his breath to the Word for us not to be learning and living what he says. I’ve learned that when I’m having an issue I go to scripture and find what it says about that issue. Psalms has 150 chapters of struggling and overcoming! I’m sure we can all find something to relate just in that one book of the bible alone.

My life is not my own anymore. Not since I surrendered it at the foot of the cross to Jesus. No matter how much I believe, this life will always throw me curve balls. Always try to get the upper hand over me. Keep me in my struggles, keep me reliving the pain. Keep my battling addiction. But I’m here to tell you that I HAVE HOPE! Hope in a risen savior. Hope in his word. Hope in his presence. I don’t have to sit still and do nothing. I can rise up and overcome, because I know the one who overcame it all.

I leave you with this scripture:
Psalms 50:15 & 51:1-4
and call on me in the day of trouble and I will deliver you and you will honor me.

Have mercy on me, Oh God, according to you unfailing love; according to your great compassion,blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned; and done evil in your sight….



New Years Resolution: You are Here

Jeremiah 29 :11 tells is for I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

You’ve made your New Years Resolutions by now I’m sure, or at least you been thinking about them for a while now. What you’d like to change, what you’d like to accomplish, what you’d like to do with your new year. I haven’t made any resolutions. I’m resolved not to. It’s not that I don’t think they are good to have, I just have never once in all my life completed one so what’s the point.

I want to live in the HERE! Right HERE! Right where I am. Right where God has placed me. I’m all for change, but sometimes, change isn’t in the plan. Sometimes God wants us to stay put right where we are. Whether it’s in our job, our home, in our finances, in our relationships, in our church. Sometimes HERE is where we are supposed to be.

Where is your HERE? At a job you seem to hate but it brings home a paycheck so you stay? Maybe, just maybe God put you there to show others the love of Jesus. Maybe that’s exactly where He wants you. Maybe for the now, that’s your HERE. Maybe it’s without a job. Relying on unemployment or some other means to sustain you financially. Maybe God is teaching you to trust Him in all things in your HERE. Maybe your in relationship ruin with friends and family. Maybe God is teaching you how He can restore your relationships. Your HERE is leaning on Jesus to comfort your hurt and the hurt you’ve caused.

I’ve been in your HERE. I’m struggling with some of the HEREs right now. I’m not dwelling on them though. I’m merely living through them with you. I’m relying on Gods word to strengthen me and teach me. Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. Proverbs 27:1. I can do all the resoluting I want but if God wants me in my HERE that’s where I’m going to stay. I’m not suggesting NOT planning for the future, or not trying to make changes in your life. I’m simply stating that if it’s in Gods will for you to be in your HERE, embrace it. Look at it as a blessing. Look at it as a way for God to help you prosper. For God to give you your hope and future.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

I’m looking into 2013 with a different view from most. I’m looking at it as if this is where I’m supposed to be. This is what I’m supposed to be doing. This is where my HERE was meant to be.

So, where is your HERE? Comment and share where God has placed you. Where God has blessed you. And what God is doing in your HERE!



You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart
Jeremiah 29:13

Seek Him today!!!!!!!!

Linking to :
we are that family
Wordless Wednesday
pinching pennies
raising homemakers
Deep roots at home
our simple farm
frugally sustainable
wednesday in the word
ginger snap crafts
my daily walk in his grace
day to day joys
lindas lunacy
heavenly homemakers
slightly indulgent tuesday
tackle it tuesday
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a pinch of joy
organizing junkie
muffin tin monday
raising arrows
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motivate me monday
its so very cheri
mad skill link party
top ten tuesday @ many little blessings
simply better
lil’ luna
made by me wednesday
strut your stuff saturdays

Striving for balance

Ever have those days where all you get done is a whole lot of nothing? In all seriousness, I have those days. Seems like my wheels are spinning and I’m busy busy, but yet at the end of the day, nothing was accomplished. Yes, the house got picked up before the hubs got home. Yes, dinner was on the table. Yes, we sort of completed our school work for the day, but did I do anything that really matters? Did I take time to pray with each one of my children? Did I make time for one special moment with them? Did I stop and make time for myself?

I have days where I settle in on the couch around 8 pm, look around, and wonder why I feel like I haven’t seen my kids or husband all day. It’s because I was too busy doing a whole ton of stuff that doesn’t really matter. I took a peek at pinterest for WAAAYYYY too long. I swept the floor 500 times. I did dishes to many times to count. I’m not saying those things aren’t important. They are! We wouldn’t be eating off of clean dishes if Momma didn’t wash them. I’m just saying some times we, especially I, get too caught up in doing “things” that we miss the opportunity in front of us to love, cherish, and adore the people God has placed in our lives.

I don’t want to look back on my life in say 5,10, 15, 40 years and think “why didn’t I make time for them?”. I don’t want to live with regrets. I don’t want to miss out on all that’s happening RIGHT NOW. I want to try to live as if it’s my last. Take time to smell the roses, so to speak. Do you? Do you ever feel completely out of balance? I just might be the only one but that’s ok. I’m working on it and allowing God to change from the inside out.

So, If you email me and I don’t get back to you right away, or if I don’t answer your call, know that I’m striving for balance in all things and spending time doing the things that really matter…… Living and Loving those in my life!



Someone Needs This

Someone, somewhere needs to know this! It might only be me. It might be you. This is for the struggling and aren’t we all struggling?



He never promised that the cross would not be heavy,
Or the hill would not be hard to climb.
He never offered a victory without fighting,
He said help would always come in time.

So remember when your standing
in the valley of decision and the adversary
says give in.
Our God will show up, and he will take you through the fire again!

Listen to it Crabb Family style!


Do You Eat The Bread of Idleness

She looks well the the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27 ESV

I have studied the Proverbs 31 woman a number of times and each time I go through a study God seems to prick my heart. This time, idleness is what he’s speaking to me. I have to admit, I think I’m idle. I think I’m just in auto-pilot now a days. It’s sad, but it’s real. It’s me right now.

So, I started to study what I feel like I’m going through. I started with the word idleness. By definition, Lacking substance, value, or basis. Am I any of those? Yep! You bet ya. I have not be intentional about anything lately. That got me thinking as well. Hmm, am I lukewarm? This thought scared me. We’ve all heard warnings about the lukewarm christian.
Revelation 3:16 ESV says

so because you are lukewarm and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.

Now that’s a warning if I ever heard one. I have been to church. I have done my wifely duties. My motherly duties but I’m lacking substance or value in them. I’m just going through the motions. My spirit is dry and weary right now. I feel out of place. I feel out of fellowship. I feel out of Gods hands.

I’m searching all over for things to fill my time. To fill this longing in my heart but it continues to be empty. I have the head knowledge to know it’s a spot that will only be filled when I call on Jesus. I know that, but so many times I get in the way. I stop dying to self and start living for self. I’ve been here before. And by grace He has pulled me from the miry clay and made me new again. All I had to do was cry out to Him.
Hebrews 13:5 ESV

keep your life free from love of money and be CONTENT with what you have for HE said, ” I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Never leave me? Never forsake me? After all these things that I unofficially say are more important than Him. After all the times I’ve hurt his heart by chasing MY desire because I thought his weren’t good enough. All this and he promises to never leave or forsake me? That is my hope that I have. That is my promise I hold on to in times like these. When I finally pull my head out of the ground I search for his promise and it’s still there. I command myself to be still and listen for his voice and time and again he speaks to me.

No matter what I do.No matter how bad I screw it up. No matter where my spirit is, I can call on the name of Jesus. I can ask him to forgive me for what I’ve said and done. I can rest easy knowing he is good, and just, and faithful to forgive me. I know someone, somewhere out there can relate. Someone needed to hear that no matter where you are in life you can cry out to Jesus and He WILLINGLY will answer your cry. He will forgive you. He will set your sins apart as far as the east is to the west. Maybe it’s just me but I need forgiveness on a daily basis. And this day is no different. May God keep you and be with you today.

Prayer: Father in heaven I come to you today to ask you to forgive me. Lord I know that I haven’t put you as number one in my life lately. I know this pains you. I ask that you give me strength to turn from my ways and follow you. I ask Lord that you would touch each and every person that reads this blog. Bless them and keep them Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen