She looks well the the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27 ESV
I have studied the Proverbs 31 woman a number of times and each time I go through a study God seems to prick my heart. This time, idleness is what he’s speaking to me. I have to admit, I think I’m idle. I think I’m just in auto-pilot now a days. It’s sad, but it’s real. It’s me right now.
So, I started to study what I feel like I’m going through. I started with the word idleness. By definition, Lacking substance, value, or basis. Am I any of those? Yep! You bet ya. I have not be intentional about anything lately. That got me thinking as well. Hmm, am I lukewarm? This thought scared me. We’ve all heard warnings about the lukewarm christian.
Revelation 3:16 ESV says
so because you are lukewarm and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.
Now that’s a warning if I ever heard one. I have been to church. I have done my wifely duties. My motherly duties but I’m lacking substance or value in them. I’m just going through the motions. My spirit is dry and weary right now. I feel out of place. I feel out of fellowship. I feel out of Gods hands.
I’m searching all over for things to fill my time. To fill this longing in my heart but it continues to be empty. I have the head knowledge to know it’s a spot that will only be filled when I call on Jesus. I know that, but so many times I get in the way. I stop dying to self and start living for self. I’ve been here before. And by grace He has pulled me from the miry clay and made me new again. All I had to do was cry out to Him.
Hebrews 13:5 ESV
keep your life free from love of money and be CONTENT with what you have for HE said, ” I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Never leave me? Never forsake me? After all these things that I unofficially say are more important than Him. After all the times I’ve hurt his heart by chasing MY desire because I thought his weren’t good enough. All this and he promises to never leave or forsake me? That is my hope that I have. That is my promise I hold on to in times like these. When I finally pull my head out of the ground I search for his promise and it’s still there. I command myself to be still and listen for his voice and time and again he speaks to me.
No matter what I do.No matter how bad I screw it up. No matter where my spirit is, I can call on the name of Jesus. I can ask him to forgive me for what I’ve said and done. I can rest easy knowing he is good, and just, and faithful to forgive me. I know someone, somewhere out there can relate. Someone needed to hear that no matter where you are in life you can cry out to Jesus and He WILLINGLY will answer your cry. He will forgive you. He will set your sins apart as far as the east is to the west. Maybe it’s just me but I need forgiveness on a daily basis. And this day is no different. May God keep you and be with you today.
Prayer: Father in heaven I come to you today to ask you to forgive me. Lord I know that I haven’t put you as number one in my life lately. I know this pains you. I ask that you give me strength to turn from my ways and follow you. I ask Lord that you would touch each and every person that reads this blog. Bless them and keep them Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen